- Clear Subject Line
- Proper Greeting
- Organized and concise Body
- Respectful Tone
- Professional Signature
Students will identify what’s wrong with each email, then rewrite one example using proper structure and tone.
Unprofessional Email Examples
Example 1 — Too Casual
Subject: hey
Body:
hey mr ramos,
i can’t come 2 class tomorrow. can u tell me what i missed?
thanks,
jay
What’s Wrong:
- Uses texting language (“u,” “2”)
- No capitalization or punctuation
- Informal greeting and tone
- Vague subject line
Example 2 — Demanding Tone
Subject: Need grade change ASAP
Body:
Hi,
I saw that my grade isn’t right. Please fix it before the weekend.
– Jordan
What’s Wrong:
- Tone is pushy (“Please fix it”)
- Missing polite request and reason
- Lacks greeting and closing
Example 3 — Missing Details
Subject: Question
Body:
Hello,
I have a question about the project.
Thanks,
Samantha
What’s Wrong:
- Vague subject (“Question”)
- No context for which project
- Reader can’t answer effectively
Example 4 — Run-On and Unstructured
Subject: project problem
Body:
Hi Mrs. Perez, I tried to upload my project but it wouldn’t go through and then my wifi stopped working and I didn’t know what to do so I emailed you just now can I send it tomorrow morning or do I lose points?
– Alex
What’s Wrong:
- Run-on sentence
- Hard to read, no clear structure
- Needs paragraphing and clarity
Example 5 — Overly Familiar or Inappropriate Tone
Subject: wassup!
Body:
Yo Ms. G,
I forgot to do the assignment lol my bad. Can I get extra time?
peace ✌🏽
– Dre
What’s Wrong:
- Slang and informal tone (“Yo,” “lol,” “peace”)
- Lacks professionalism and accountability
Extension Example – Professional Rewrite
Subject: Request for Extension on Project Submission
Body:
Good afternoon, Ms. G,
I had an unexpected issue with my internet last night and wasn’t able to submit my project on time. May I please have permission to turn it in tomorrow morning?
Thank you for your understanding.
Best,
Andre Johnson
Student Task
- Choose one of the five examples.
- Identify at least three mistakes using the list above.
- Rewrite the message professionally.
- Exchange with a partner for peer feedback before submitting.
Instructor Notes
- Use this supplement during Guided Work Time in Lesson #14.
- Encourage humor—students enjoy spotting “what not to do.”
- For Tier 2, have teams rank which email is most unprofessional and discuss why tone matters most.